When Grief Goes Public: The Viral Debate Around Erika Kirk’s Memorial Appearance

By Tubbi Tickles · Opinion · Culture · Social Media

Opinion

Culture

Social Media

Screenshots circulating on X ignited a debate about what grief is “supposed” to look like.

Note: The following is commentary on a public event and the surrounding discussion online. Everyone grieves differently. This piece examines the public reaction and the cultural pressures that arise when mourning happens on camera.

What sparked the conversation

A post from the account @tubbitickles critiqued the on-camera presentation of Erika Kirk during a memorial. The post argued that the performance felt “disingenuous,” observing that “tears aren’t streaming down from red eyes” and that “makeup is still intact.” The core question posed repeatedly: “Why pretend?”

The tweet, paraphrased: “Erika Kirk’s portrayal of grief is disingenuous… While people grieve differently, it’s important to be honest and not pretend to be in pain.”

Immediate reactions: empathy, defense, and pushback

The replies were swift and split. Some followers counseled compassion and restraint. One response put it plainly: “Sometimes, some opinions are best left unspoken… You are talking about a young woman and mother newly caught up in grief and shock.”

Others emphasized that grief manifests in many ways: “Honestly, grief can be brutal and it looks different for everyone. She might be in the anger/rage stage which would not necessarily produce tears.”

There was also sharp criticism of the critique itself: “Going after his widow. That’s so low. Get help.” Another user offered support despite disagreement: “We love you, even when you are being hateful.”

The author’s stance

In follow-ups, @tubbitickles clarified that the concern was less about whether someone cries and more about the production around the moment: recording at the casket, stage-managed optics, and the sense of a takeover “before he’s even put in the ground.” The refrain remained: “Why pretend?”

“It’s just the production of it all; recording over his body. And pretending to cry for me.”

Why it resonated: grief, power, and performance

Public mourning always risks becoming a performance, especially when cameras are rolling and social media is ready to judge. The debate touches three raw nerves:

1) Grief doesn’t have a script

Shock, numbness, and anger can flatten visible emotion. No tears doesn’t mean no pain. People also self-monitor on camera; cosmetics or composure aren’t proof of insincerity.

2) Power dynamics change the read

Some replies noted the imbalance of attention and influence—how money, status, and platform can make sincere grief feel curated. That perception, fair or not, primes audiences to scrutinize.

3) The internet rewards certainty

Platforms benefit when we pick a side. The most rewarded posts are definitive, not nuanced. That creates an audience that’s skeptical of ambiguity and quick to assume performance.

A better way to talk about grief online

Here’s a framework for readers navigating similar viral moments:

• Lead with humility: You can question optics without declaring motives. Replace “She’s faking” with “This felt staged to me—why?”
• Separate critique of production from character judgment: Media choices can be fair-game critique. A person’s interior grief is unknowable from a clip.
• Remember the kids and family: Posts live forever. Ask if your phrasing will age with compassion for the bereaved.

The line between witness and spectacle

Modern mourning is mediated. Livestreams, camera platforms, and influencer-era expectations mean funerals are often content—whether the family wants it or not. We should expect uncomfortable debates to follow. We should also make room for the possibility that both things are true: a moment can be overproduced and a person can be sincerely grieving.

Editor’s note: This piece quotes and paraphrases public comments from an X thread featuring the account @tubbitickles and various respondents. Screenshots referenced are from the public platform interface. If you are grieving, consider connecting with a counselor, faith leader, or trusted community resource.

Keywords: Erika Kirk, Charlie Kirk, grief, public mourning, social media debate, Tubbi Tickles, authenticity, viral tweet